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It is not in a girls nature, or best interest to chase men, but they do, they race after alpha’s that give them a subtle hint of attainability. Getting her to see you as an alpha that appears both unattainable, but yet attainable to her is tricky. Girls will naturally be aloof and indifferent to suitors, because they have so many, and a lot of them believe that they need to play hard to get in order to land a ‘good’ man. If you’re both playing hard to get, you get no where.

Aloofness: The Magic Bullet Myth

Aloofness, it seems like such a magic bullet, a simple pill to take to ensure getting laid and laid often. The laconic man is the man that single girls are interested in. You should ignore her texts at times, take a long time between texts, dissappear randomly, and act hard to get. Basically you have been told to not give a fuck. All these things are not a magic bullet, they all work, yes, but they are not going to make a girl that you find attractive walk up to you in a bar and start chasing you. Well not unless you’re displaying major social proof, i.e. amazingly good looking, having lots of girls around all hanging on your every word. My point is, aloofness alone will not generate attraction.

First Interactions and the Need to Lead

I’ve talked a little about aloofness here, but in this article I’m focusing more on the strategies that focus on the initial first interactions and first ‘dates’. If you get a girls number, and you are completely laconic, you won’t text her, you’ll wait for her to text you. You are assuming that girls aren’t running the same dating game on you. Or hoping that you generated enough interest that she’ll break first. It may happen, but you’ll be missing out on a lot of girls.

Let’s say that the girl does text you, but you don’t want to seem too needy (sounds like girl talk here) and you want to portray just how not needy you are, and how in control of yourself you are. So you take advice and ignore her text, or send something too short and simple. Mostly you’ll probably get nothing in return. And you’ll be at a stalemate.

You can’t flip the script and run aloof/hard to get game on a girl who isn’t chasing you. You’ve got to hook her enough so that she wants to chase after you.

I find a big problem going on out there these days, and that as by nature’s game of flipping the script on girls, using their tactics, can have a negative effect on newbies and beginners. Girls are using our own techniques, playing hard to get, not appearing too needy etc, because they read too many magazine articles or read dating game blogs and think that learning about attraction is the same for both males and females. You can have a series of texts or conversations that never go anywhere, because you are both employing the same strategies of ‘not caring’ or not investing in the interaction. You are told that being aloof will get her to chase you. Well not exactly, and not at first. Remember, she’s playing the same game, and it’s your job to take the lead.

It’s about how you show interest, more than being so aloof that you become a ghost.

A mistake some men make, is not realizing how to apply aloofness. It’s simply a display of higher value, it’s not enough to hook her, it only adds to the hook. You still need to connect with her on some other level, sexual and emotional.

Aloofness in the first interactions with a girl should mainly be displayed by not caring about any particular outcome with a girl. This is an extremely attractive trait in a man to a girl, and with that attitude, your display of interest in her will be as magical to her as that elusive unicorn she’s always wanted.

Too much aloofness however will make her think she has no access to you, and no hope of reigning you in. You’ve got to give her at least a few morsels for her to taste in order for her to think she can have you, and then you can run a full hard to get game.

Again, it only works if she really wants to reign you in. If she just wants to have sex, playing hard to get will get a hand job at the end of the night with trusty old righty or lefty (whichever you may be).

An alpha man displays interest directly and without wavering. He doesn’t need to over state his intentions or displays of interest, he just connects, escalates and copulates. He is hard to get by nature only because of his options perceived or real – be the prize, but let them think they have a shot to win it.